I have a love/hate relationship with Bristol Farms. Everything in the store is fantastic. Delicious prepared foods, an astounding array of cheeses and charcuterie, perfect produce, Method cleaning products, AND a miniature wine heaven. I stop in for a block of cheddar and leave with pre-sliced mango, veal stock, rosé champagne and 6 bottles of the boutique Syrah I had at Canteen in San Francisco and was previously unable to find ANYWHERE. However, the mark-up at Bristol Farms borders on the offensive. Whatever the product -- milk, eggs, horseradish, toilet paper -- it costs at least 25% more at Bristol Farms than it does at the Ralphs directly across the street.
But Bristol Farms -- at least the Beverly & Doheny location -- has something Ralphs does not: ridiculously hot men. Whereas Whole Foods is the domain of doe-eyed models, aspiring starlets and (gasp!) even attractive regular gals like me, Bristol Farms is where winners of the male genetic lottery shop for groceries.
I’ve never actually spoken with any of these men, other than the time a gorgeous but clearly taken actor type asked me for wine advice. Part of this stems from the fact that I’m too shy to make eye contact with anyone I think is attractive unless I’ve had a few drinks. The remainder of my reserve is based on the fact that I was approached by a man in the grocery store once, and it was really really creepy. So creepy, in fact, that one of the store employees offered to walk me to my car. Thus, from my perspective, Bristol Farms is merely a place to observe man candy in its natural habitat. But if you are bolder than I, add the Beverly & Doheny Bristol Farms to your to-do list.
I am currently contemplating camping out in front of Bristol Farms in hopes of “running into” the man I saw there last Thursday. The love child of Patrick Dempsey and the brawny man, I almost followed him out of the store and offered to have 10,000 of his babies. Luckily, my path was blocked by an elderly woman contemplating the virtues of black licorice (I prefer RJ’s soft-eating licorice, she is a staunch Panda fan), saving me from humiliation and/or a stalking charge.
Like bigfoot, unicorns, and the Loch Ness Monster, I don’t have any photographs of the Bristol Farms hot man phenomenon. What can I say? I don’t usually bring a camera with me to the grocery store. From here on out though, I will carry one with me, and will post any pictures I am able to obtain. So stay tuned for updates to this post, and keep your fingers crossed that neither the men in question nor Bristol Farms will mind being the subject of an occasional candid photograph. Though a story involving me getting punched in the face by a dude while trying to take his picture at Bristol Farms could make for an interesting post . . .
But Bristol Farms -- at least the Beverly & Doheny location -- has something Ralphs does not: ridiculously hot men. Whereas Whole Foods is the domain of doe-eyed models, aspiring starlets and (gasp!) even attractive regular gals like me, Bristol Farms is where winners of the male genetic lottery shop for groceries.
I’ve never actually spoken with any of these men, other than the time a gorgeous but clearly taken actor type asked me for wine advice. Part of this stems from the fact that I’m too shy to make eye contact with anyone I think is attractive unless I’ve had a few drinks. The remainder of my reserve is based on the fact that I was approached by a man in the grocery store once, and it was really really creepy. So creepy, in fact, that one of the store employees offered to walk me to my car. Thus, from my perspective, Bristol Farms is merely a place to observe man candy in its natural habitat. But if you are bolder than I, add the Beverly & Doheny Bristol Farms to your to-do list.
I am currently contemplating camping out in front of Bristol Farms in hopes of “running into” the man I saw there last Thursday. The love child of Patrick Dempsey and the brawny man, I almost followed him out of the store and offered to have 10,000 of his babies. Luckily, my path was blocked by an elderly woman contemplating the virtues of black licorice (I prefer RJ’s soft-eating licorice, she is a staunch Panda fan), saving me from humiliation and/or a stalking charge.
Like bigfoot, unicorns, and the Loch Ness Monster, I don’t have any photographs of the Bristol Farms hot man phenomenon. What can I say? I don’t usually bring a camera with me to the grocery store. From here on out though, I will carry one with me, and will post any pictures I am able to obtain. So stay tuned for updates to this post, and keep your fingers crossed that neither the men in question nor Bristol Farms will mind being the subject of an occasional candid photograph. Though a story involving me getting punched in the face by a dude while trying to take his picture at Bristol Farms could make for an interesting post . . .
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